Don't b Serious..b Sincere!!!!

A very Interesting read....

Following is the speech by Chetan Bhagat given at the orientation programme for the new batch of MBA students at Symbiosis, Pune.

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party, several months in advance, just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms. To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house. Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current level s feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.


One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved- movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result - at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan - I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damn lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Thank You.
...
Simple and to the point and just hitting where it should..a wonderful game of words!!
So, Keep up d Spark Always !!!

Lesson ...

Notes from life ....

 

1987 : Travelling by train to my uncle's place , journey was about 3 hrs but then u see , children get hungry n thirsty often :) , so , there I was bugging my mom for some or other thing..

Then I was thirsty n wanted to play wid some water and mom gave me a nice small cute sa glass ,filled with water in my hand. Actually it was d only glass or glassy , I shud say , in which I used to had 'mum mum' n milk. I simply sat there sipping very little n just holding it , I asked , 'mumma yeh mum bach gaya' , Mom told , koi nahin throw it , So , I threw water with glassy from the window n , 'mumma phenk diya' , Arre beta , I told throw the water not ur glass..But..

 

At 4 : Life taught me to follow ur Mom's word as final , nothing less nothing more. ;-)

 

1989 : A glass of milk staring at me . How to get rid of it with Mom standing right on top of my head ? Sink was an old trick and with my sister sitting besides me n finishin her glass in just one sip , it was even tougher to get rid of it ....there was no saviour.

 

At 6 : Life taught me that there was no escaping milk and Mom. :)

 

1993 : "I want this dress now" . I screamed ..shouted ..all in vain. I felt Mom is really being indifferent to me , It is my best friend's birthday party n I wanted a new dress . There was this insanely sane expression on my mom's face , till I stopped screaming as I realised I'd just bought a similar dress a month ago.

 

At 10 : Life taught me that unreasonable demands were never fulfilled !!

 

1996 : "Papa pls let me go to the trip with school dis time ...pls Mom ask papa to pls understand " , "all my friends are goin..." ... No ears for pleading..."No" was the prompt reply from papa's side...

 

At 13 : Life taught me to listen to our elders and they knew what is best for us and what might not be ...

 

1998 : M a tenthie , I ve grown up to be in Board Exams and I can study on my own n dat there are no more homework , that I've 2 complete before d next day at school...Mom and Dad always supported and never really went after me and almost never , except for once or twice asked me to study for exams...dey wanted me to feel to study myself..."Hey my dad has got our cable connection disconnected.." , told my friend over phone and I kept on thinking , "Is dat my parents are not worried enough ..how their child s gonna perform at studies..." or worse , "dey are not at all bothered..."

 

At 15 : Life taught me that parents know the best and they want only the best thing for their child...be at any cost..

 

1999 : "Hurray , my board result is out n 've scored distinction...dat too deciding on my own wen 2 study wen not.." ...."Dis gave me a sense of confidence dat I can very well decide what to pursue in life and what I want from life.." ."after all ,this is my life and I will choose my career"..Papa just looked up from beneath his glasses and said , "Ofcourse you will , but you being really vulnerable , doctor's post might not go very well with ur personality "..

 

I still chose and opted for biology and beleive me , I didn't scored too well with that, dis time around...

 

At 16 : Life taught me to respect experienced people cos it always makes you a better person with time...

 

2000 : "Kuch kuch hota hai...".."Tum nahin samjhogi anjali.."..."Kuch kuch hota hai...".."Tum nahin samjhoge rahul.."was the mantra allover school...neighbourhood n tutions...

"Don't tell ur mom , I'm not telling either , that we are going for this movie after class , they will never allow us" , My friend whispered over phone ...

 

"No .."I mean no chance.."I simply can't lie n moreover I don't want to..."..."I never hide anything from my mom n m sure she will let me go.."

 

And so it was , our parents not only allowed us to go to the movie but also gave extra money for eating out..

 

At 17 : Life taught me that it is very important to keep good company and that reasonable demands are always fulfilled.. ;-)

 

2002 : "I don't want to be in engineering and that if not MBBS , den let me go for Dental course..BDS" .."NO" remain my papa's opinion..n dat "I should go for biomedical engineering , which he has chosen for me and also , I've tried my share of time and luck ...and I have to listen to what my papa is telling..." ,my Mom , told sternly !!

 

N hey , before i'd thought , I found myself in the hostel room , un-packing my stuff over...

 

At 19 : Life taught me that whatever is destined has to take place and that parents have a fair idea whats gonna happen next in their child's life...

 

2006 : 4 years flew away like anything and here I am again standing in my room but dis time packing all my stuff and bidding goodbye...to all , friends, hostel mates , batch-mates n everyone around, iron waala , photocopy shop , bookstore, juice junction , canteen n mess ...almost everyone...in the university !!

 

Time actually really flew away, I didn't even realised wen n where had 4 yrs been , it was pretty fast..and M an Engineer now with a distinction in my B.Tech

 

At 23 : Life taught me that it takes its own stride , on its own...it is actually driving you ...

 

2007 : I wanted to pursue MS from abroad and I'd thought , yes I did thought even now ,but only after consulting papa , that I ll probably join some university in Australia . Both of us thought at d first place , that dis would be nice enough , although Mom was little apprehensive. I prepared for my IELTS exam and got through that scoring fairly good !! :) , applied for many and was able to get offered addmission in one of very good universities in Sydney , Australia.

 

But as I had learned at 23 , life always takes its own stride and drives you , I never took my papers forward and all of a sudden , dropped off d idea of getting an MS from abroad.

 

At 24 : Life taught that sometimes we shouldn't force ourselves on somethin..and if confusion clouds in ur mind...u shud better keep at calm n try not being impulsive !! ;-)

 

2008 : I took something that I didn't wanted at first place but started beleiving dat maybe dis is d thing for me ...although my sister was constantly pushing me to try out somethin better..and here at dis place I met , my best friend for life , and , we hit really well...our opinions , perspectives all matched and we were best of friends in couple of days... :D

 

"I will go for dis course ,only if you come along..., u know m too afraid to take up something so far way 4m home..n dat i've never been away from my home for more than 4-5 days , n certainly not dis faaaaaaaaar....", asked my friend , n I was as usual , a bit confused abt it called up papa , "papa , there is dis MS from manipal , shud I opt for dis.." , papa always wanted dis for me , he promptly told , "go for it ...it would be even better than MS abroad ,ur plans last year..."

 

And there I was , both of us sitting in the train to Udupi.. :P

 

At 25 : Life taught me if one thing doesn't turn-up d way u'd expected it to be...never lose hope...there is always something nicer in store for u .. !!!

 

2009 : I again feel that the things are not turning as i would like them to be...n dat my luck is not enough to land me in the bestest of things...but .... ;-)

 

Now : Life's teaching me , maybe my expectations are less and maybe I deserve lot more ... n dat I definitely will get everythin I deserve, wen d right time comes.. :)

 

So, here I am after so many lessons and still learnin a new one every day...

At Present  : Life has taught me that hurdles and joys come in cycles ; God doesn't deprive anyone of either, cos dey r part of ur growing process...n dat our family is our weakness and strength..

 

Life now has also taught me dat ,God is always there with us..n listens to my prayers and that I'm still learnin the subject called Life !! ;-)

Haywire....

"God will make a way when there seems to be no way...."

But this doesn't seems to be apt for some ...u know... !!!

Stuck in a deadlock which is neither letting me break it nor is fading away by itself....No clues..where will all this take up and what shape will it take finally...
Everyone puts it "friends for life" ..... "Friendship never fades" ...... "no matter what, we'll be friends" ........"Friend is someone who knows you and can understand you d way no one ever can"
I was also one of those who used to believe in these petite and foolish thoughts...
But , Now , today , I know..dat these are just simple words being put together and they have nothing to do with reality....These things look good only in fairytales and movies or stories...not in "REAL" world...

Sometimes in life, you will find yourself lost in a phenomena and circumstances that you wish you could go back and change...but time can't be locked and will flow on its own...you can't help but let it..

"Frienships are like glasses . If they break, let them stay broken, you'll only hurt yourself trying to fix it. Atleast the pieces still remain.".....................

Feel in Bones..

February 21st '09
Location : Garuda Mall , Bangalore.

It was a lovely morning , although quite sunny too , but Saturday has become one of my favourite days , ever since I've joined internship. They use to say , you can never imagine "What it means to be in S/W industry, unless n untill you too are riding in d same boat" ....Now I can very well identify with it !!

Neways, day started as usual , with a cup of hot ginger tea, aahha :-) , followed with a nice n a bit heavy breakfast with aloo paranthas , butter n curd ...u r on cloud 9 , indeed.

In order to fight the nagging boredom , we planned to do something ...but then we started floating this question to each other.

Me , being ever ready to go outside , inspite of bad mood , health blah..blah..started with the suggestions ,"Let's go to some Mall , maybe Bangalore Central or Garuda "

Ajit, as always , was ought to show up his enmity in goin to places like this aka shopping , Biswa is also one creature all time , charged up , full of energy , I wonder he wears some pumping shoes or what ..hehe ;-) , Poonam is a darlin' u may say , she'll probably never counter else's opinion.

All said n done , n we finally boarded the volvo for the place , after a hustling bustling ride , we got down at our stop , Lifestyle Mall. You've to take d road down to walk upto Garuda Mall.

So, here we are 3'oclock , at Garuda.

"What to do now", was the question flaring everyone's mind. "I'll check something in MNG" , told Poonam , but then that means a round of trials n in d end whole exercise will go in vain , cos there might be a slightest of something that she won't like n d poor thing will be dropped as not selected.

Then came d guy's thoughts , you seriously can never actually understand wat may b crossing their minds , not bcoz its complicated as woman's but bcoz there is hardly they can think of apart from a very short list : girls around & drinks , n d list ends !!

Ajit didn't had lunch or d wonder breakfast which we 3 of us had , so was hungry & was set to have a snack before anything , So , I asked Biswa n Poonam to check for wat we can do next n Ajit n me moved towards foodcourt.

As expected , there was no movie tickets available at that time , but as always , this information came from them after a long time , by this time Ajit has finished his meal n I was done with Dhokla...hey if I am stayin back , dat means m also gonna hv smthing ...

Being done with hunger cure , unquiet Ajit asked to come n check out d place...Believe me a replete man is so easy to handle with .. We went to 4th floor n alas !! found there r no movie tickets ...
"Hey , this is the Scary House I was Talking about" , told Ajit.
We all knew , me n horror doesn't go well , ever. So , without any pause , he asked me to keep calm n be courageous enough to atleast try n attempt the things , dat are actually out of my syllabus n thoughts . I was simply speechless n it was actually very easy for a person like me to come to a conclusion saying , "koi chance nahin hai, main nahin jaungi" .

The notion of FEAR makes me sick , I know. But then , making no delays , he called them both , Biswa n Poonam to come upstairs , aha ya they went down , coz most obviously she was looking hard for treasure trove there , as always.

N you know what , even they reached us with a Blink of an eye , poor me :(

Then , as we proceeded towards the ticket counter , I was getting more n more edgy , n constantly repeating the same phrase , of course "Main nahin jaungi yaar, please" . But I feel as much as I was reluctant to go , they all were all bent on giving it a shot.

And then , soon , we all 4 were standing in d queue , waiting for the gate to open , to let us in....awful !!

The Moment Came , Gate opened & the guard there asked us to move in , & I inescapably stepped into the door with them , I was holding Ajit's hand , as firmly as I can..

Before I can actually realise , I was inside it , with the entry door locked from outside . For the first time ever in my life , I actually felt , i may never come out of this HELL.

It was thoroughgoing darkness out there , the entire scene goes like this :
Total Dark , screams of people , monstrous lights , egregious things and objects lying here n there summing up an appalling surrounding.....Even now I can feel those things around me , we were standing there in the middle of all this and no one from us knew where n which direction to move....Suddenly , Ajit's phone rings and I was like , "How can you attend a call in middle of this ghastly place" , and guess what , the call was from , Courier Waala , he was expecting some courier from home , he picked up the call but from nowhere ,I really don't know from where, from the red coloured walls,I don't wanna mention the 'blood' word here , this screaming skeleton came in front of us n we went weak in knees , of course he'd hung up by now. N guess what , "Oye !! chal hatt" , was what Ajit said , here goes my first scream of the evening , I literally wanted to clench on Ajit , but as we had to move ahead too , we walked a step further , I was able to hear the dismal voices of Biswa and Poonam , I closed my eyes and was only listening to Ajit's n Biswa's discussion , Poonam was mostly silent , not much shrills . Then came something , that whispered into our ears "whooooooooo" , I shouted badly , but somewhere I knew , there is no point shouting my heart out , but still dat was d only option , I felt, might help me overcoming it.
"Oye yahan pe ek laash hai, dekh dekh" ...
"Ajit please aise na bol, please aaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"
"Chal chal haan idhar hi chalte hain...."
"Nahin please yaar, nahiiiiiiii"
"Oho , par raasta bhi yahi hai"
I knew , there's no getaway.....Step by step we were moving further , thankfully Biswa n poonam were there behind me n Ajit in front , but you know what , I don't know , were the skeletons and objects were manually driven or by motion sensoring , but at each step someone or something gonna hit you or scare you or simply come in front of you , n drive you to be scared to hell....

Initially , Ajit, Biswa n maybe poonam too , were not apprehensive and were not so panic-striken , but after I guess 3-4 min of that frightful journey , there was no exchange of words between us , the only voices were of screams , horror pieces being played , By now it was almost 7 minutes over , & then to everyone's gloom , Ajit, who was leading us till now , told "Yaar aage toh rasta hi nahin hai.." n we went weird.....
And then came Zoom....a flash of light , with a creepy bisected body, resembling human !!

But that was end of it , n "Arre hum aa gaye , wo dekho gate hai wahan..." , these words from poonam came as a life saver !!!
N I decided to open my eyes , but , aahhhhhhhh, came a shout with those screams from those semi human bodies and skulls or skeletons roaming around and touching us .......I again went into darkness of my own mind....But then , the gate was near to us but closed ...... Wonder Why ????
M sure , by this time , who so ever goes there , will definitely want to run outside , "Yeh band kyun hai yaar?? , arre ek lady hai wahan dekh , dekh" , Poonam made things easy then..
N Finally, we were out ....out of that shit....
"Hey look at her , she's crying man..." , "is it ??" , "Yeah the girl out there , she's crying, hooo" , pointed , a group of kids awaiting their turn to feel the danger , towards me .

"Oh ho , koi nahin , arre rone ki kya baat hai , koi ni..." ,
"Priyanka , kya hua , koi ni...." ,
"Chal ..it's okay , it's over now...."
Ajit , Poonam n biswa were trying to comfort me , but in vain , I really don't know, wat else to do , I was so helpless !!

We went downstairs , straight out of the Mall , on the road , but that feeling of fear was engulfing me ....still.... no help !!

It was for the first time in my life , that , I felt , a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., I was not able to make out whether the threat was real or imagined , but one thing is for sure , the feeling or condition of being afraid dreaded me........